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Lean Into the Wind of Our Days

6/29/2020

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"Lean Into the Wind of Our Days" - mixed media on wood panel (plywood, uncradled) 20" x 16".  Available here and at Artfinder.

​We must protect and keep the small flame we carry from being blown out, we must lean into the wind of our days, and we must accept and not run from the shadow we cast for being human.  
- MARK NEPO, The Exquisite Risk


It is an odd  and wonderful synchronicity to be simultaneously painting abstracted seascapes and also nearing the end of another soul-bending Nepo book.  His words inform the paintings, and then the paintings reach into the book and grab more words for themselves.  Like these:

Nothing is solved on our journey, not in life or in a book.  Rather, we are, through love and suffering, ushered into a wakeful living that clarifies and softens our experience into something irreducible and precious.

Oh yes.  Wakeful living is not for the timid, I tell you.  And I am a little saddened to think that nothing is solved on this journey, though.  Yet there is a sweet freedom, perhaps, in giving up all the effort to find solutions and pour it into living instead.
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Lean Into the Wind of Our Days
If you can stand one more quote (hang in there, dear reader!), this one speaks to me of my own inner rebellion of the last couple of years along with maybe something more universal that we're all experiencing during tumultuous times:

I know, for me, it has taken half a century to cross some ocean in myself.  And finally, what I feel is what I say and what I say is what I mean.  What I mean is that others, so used to my gargantuan efforts to be good, don't understand my efforts to be real.  They find me coming up short.  But I'm simply burning old masks.

I promise not to burn my covid masks (of which I am curating quite a collection).  Just the odd metaphorical mask which stands between the real me and the world. 

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About the painting:  beginning with an image merge (courtesy of Image Blender) of one of my sketches and a photo from a trip to Ireland, a rough composition was drawn on plywood.  Drawing with a paintbrush and making many directional marks, then glazing and moving the wet paint with a rubber wedge, squeegee and at several points my own hands.  More directional marks with the edge of the rubber wedge and liberal use of a water bottle and sprayer.

​It appears that 80 million is about the right number of layers for all paintings.  So if you have less than that, get back to work. :)
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Gully

6/25/2020

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"Gully" acrylic on wood panel (plywood, uncradled), 18" x 14".  Available here and at Artfinder.

​They cut out her heart, and they left her dead, in a gully, for the forest to swallow.   - Neil Gaiman, Snow, Glass, Apples

​In preparation for the coming month of seascapes with the amazing Pauline Agnew, (I know, I know, Pauline Agnew this and Pauline Agnew that...what can I say?  The woman is that good) I decided to work on a large self-portrait of sorts and get the figure out of my system for a bit (as if that's possible).  Still focused on capturing emotion, which isn't always smiles and malarkey. 

Simultaneously, I received my copy of the Neil Gaiman graphic novel adaptation of Snow White and was gobsmacked by the art, the twist on the story and the depth of emotion captured in the book.  Perfect timing for an angsty portrait and a week of feeling a bit stuck in the gully.
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Gully
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This piece began as a paint over - a little green gold mixed with gesso over what was a very dark painting.  The odd geometric shapes of the gesso underpainting were an interesting way to begin.  Continuing with paint pens and more gesso, creating a form to be inhabited by the portrait.  Many layers of acrylic paint and acrylic paint mixed with medium for glazing.

And now that this one is finished, I can spend a month by the sea (well, kind of sort of) with my toes in the salt water...or, erm, paint. :)
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Where the Smoke Blows Back

6/22/2020

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"Where the Smoke Blows Back" - acrylic on plywood (baltic birch, uncradled)  18" x 11" x .5".  Ready to hang (back has been pre-wired for hanging).  Available here and at Artfinder.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.​
 - Shel Silverstein, Where The Sidewalk Ends



I've never been a slow walker.  I like a pace that is purposeful and brisk.  Slow and measured?  Not  in my wheelhouse.   But you know that pesky universe...it makes me  do the things I wouldn't normally do to get to places where I might not otherwise arrive.

When the smoke blows back, it is instinctive to hurry scurry outta there.  But in my hurry, I miss the smoke signals, so to speak.  The lessons in the blow back.  And so I am trying to slow my roll.
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Where the Smoke Blows Back

About the art:  This piece began as the thing you are NEVER supposed to do as a painter - use the leftover paint on your palette to begin a new piece, without purpose or planning.  And, in general, whenever I try that a big coat of gesso goes over the entire thing and I begin again.  In this rare instance, however, there was an interesting composition in the hastily splatted paint.  And thus I landed in a dystopian forest landscape with a fiery backdrop to charred trees.  Acrylic paint thickly applied with rubber wedge, paintbrush, fingers and chopstick.
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The Still Point

6/16/2020

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"The Still Point" - mixed media on wood panel (baltic birch plywood, uncradled)  28" x 11" x .5"   Ready to hang (back has been pre-wired for hanging).  Available here and at Artfinder.

​breathe kindness
in this sacred space

inhabit the still point
balanced between
inhale and exhale

- Tatiana Sakurai, Fields of Creation, 
Lightworker Training

I'm looking for the still point.  Unlike in my more youthful days, when stillness was the last thing on my radar.  Remember youth?   When drama and excitement were everything?

Inhabiting the still point - the space between
  • ​breaths
  • raindrops
  • heartbeats
  • words

I'm practicing  breathing kindness into those in-between places.  On a warm June day with a gentle breeze and the pooch rolling about on the patio, it doesn't seem so hard. :)
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The Still Point

About the painting:  another archeological piece which has been sitting on the easel for months.  With each other painting I was working on, another layer or mark or glaze was added to this one.   It was an exercise in not being focused on outcome or progress.  Rather, just adding a bit here and there until it unveiled what it wanted to be.  The still point between other paintings. :
4 Comments

Squandered

6/15/2020

6 Comments

 
 "Squandered" - mixed media on wood panel (plywood, uncradled), 30" x 23".  Available here and at Artfinder.

I am installed in a fairylike place. I do not know where to poke my head; everything is superb, and I would like to do everything, so I use up and squander lots of color, for there are trials to be made. - Claude Monet

Last month's workshop gave me HEAP LOADS of new tools to work with.  And I decided to try to use them all in a mash-up.

So this piece began with two of my photographs put through an app called Image Blender.  It allows you to take two photos (or a photo and an image of a painting, or two paintings) and merge them into one blended composition. (Before you ask, inserting a photo of your own face over your landscape photographs is a terrible idea!)  You can adjust which image is dominant, or blend them equally.  After I saved that image, I ran it through the Notanizer app so I could adjust the values within the blended pic.
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Squandered
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Image Blender + Notan Photo Mash-Up

​Now that's a LOT of app use for this painter.  But the results were intriguing, so I sketched it out on a large piece of plywood with Artgraf and white gesso.  And asked myself "NOW WHAT?"

Thanks to the course, I have some mad  paint blending skills.  So I went to the book of Monet paintings referenced during the course and chose one of Monet's dark, moody garden paintings as my inspiration color palette. Stealing a palette from a master is a lovely shortcut when you want to be certain everything will harmonize.
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inspiration painting
Using as wide a variety of paint application implements as possible (extreme variety instead of extreme limitation) and adding 80 million layers of acrylic paint and watercolor crayon (well, maybe not quite that many) -  something happened that made me step back and smile.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the "Joy  Pocket" challenge last week!  Wonder Mike put his nose in a pile of names, and came up with Carl S. as the winner of  a tiny original painting!  Congratulations, Carl!  
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6 Comments

Holy Ground and Jagged Edges (another double scoop)

6/11/2020

11 Comments

 
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Holy Ground
"Holy Ground" and "Jagged Edges", mixed media on wood panel (plywood, uncradled) each 10" x 8".  Available here and at Artfinder.

​​And it is often in the jagged edges of experience we refuse to pick up that the mystical strength of all human experience waits.  In truth, any sliver of glass or broken dream will do to puncture our illusions.  There, we will stumble on holy ground.  -MARK NEPO, The Exquisite Risk

There have been some jagged edges in the last few weeks.  And it is so tempting not to pick them up.  Wouldn't we rather sink into pajama days filled with coconut ice cream and Netflix?  Maybe.  But later on we will be glad (so glad) if instead we slayed the dragon of illusion and found the real deal waiting on the other end of a broken dream.
Now that's a lot of heavy lifting for a Thursday during a normal week, let alone one riddled with masks and hand sanitizer and protest signs.  Which calls to mind something my dad used to say to me whenever life heaped manure on top of the sweet smelling rose bushes - find the joy in every day.

The gist of that was this: there is joy in everything, even the stinky stuff.  And it is important, maybe even vital, to grab that joy and stuff it in your pocket without guilt or hesitation.   It is absolutely ok to smile and feel good​ for a moment in the midst of the other stuff.   

So let me ask, dear reader, what will you put in your joy pocket today?  My pocket is crammed with a 7 lb chihuahua  and a handful of air-fried cremini mushrooms (yum).  Leave a comment below and said chihuahua will select a winner at random to receive a tiny piece of original art.  Because YOU, dear reader, make every day sparkly for me. :)
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Jagged Edges

​About the art:  continued small studies in color palettes from the e-course last month.  Acrylic heaped on collage with scraper and brush and rubber wedge and fingers.   This week I am painting with Princeton Catalyst Polytip brushes, which are oooooooooh la la for a girl who likes stiff but responsive, nearly indestructible brushes.  These pieces were finished with a touch of oil pastel and a sprinkling of fairy dust.
11 Comments

Is-ness

6/8/2020

8 Comments

 
"Is-ness" - mixed media on wood panel (plywood, uncradled) 24" x 28".   Available here and at Artfinder.

Even within our own lives, we tend to compare a happy time with a sad time, a time of ease with a time of struggle, and so, lose the overall richness of an evolving life that has an is-ness of its own.  MARK NEPO, The Exquisite Risk

I am trying not to compare things.

Not this week with last week.  Not pre-pandemic America with the wild, roiling unrest of now.  Not my art with the art of others.  Definitely not my hair with yours, beautifully coiffed reader.  

​A rich, evolving life is messy, but necessary. 
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Is-ness

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​About the painting:  This piece was inspired by a rough sketch in india ink, gesso and oil pastel  on paper (left) during the color course last month with Pauline Agnew.  The assignment was to take the sketch and bring it alive with color during "fire" week.   Though I love the bleak starkness of the sketch most of all, I am intrigued by the blaze within the colorized version, which was achieved with watercolor crayons thickly applied and smeared on top of the acrylic underpainting.  The entire piece was then sealed with a spray fixative to keep the crayon in place.
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Cup Water to Your Tired Face

6/4/2020

9 Comments

 
​"Cup Water to Your Tired Face" - mixed media on gallery wrapped canvas, 20" x 20" x 1.25".  Ready to hang.  Available here and at Artfinder.

When exhausted from the seeming complexity of life and the demands of others, it makes a difference to know that when you cup water to your tired face, it is from one magnificent and nameless sea.  And when you feel the pain of love --mis-given or mis-received -- break your heart, it helps to know what what breaks open is the covering to your soul.  - MARK NEPO, The Exquisite Risk

​Life seems super complicated lately.  And messy.  And painful. 

There are bright spots...a spontaneous movie day at home with family.  Two friends on Facebook having a difficult but very successful conversation about racial justice (so proud of these women), Wonder Mike getting the hang of "sit - stay".  Crisp, clean sheets on the bed.  And cupping water to my face at the end of the day.  
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Cup Water to Your Tired Face

Sometimes that's all  you get.

Sometimes that's all you need.

And you know what?  That'll do.


About the painting: inspired by the wild Atlantic sea off the coast of Ireland, this piece began as a drawing with Artgraf and gesso.  Many layers of acrylic paint and more Artgraf, my trusty water sprayer bottle and a big shower squeegee.  The final layer is a coat of teal glaze loosely applied and scraped with a rubber shaper.  Vertical lines created with a chopstick through wet paint alternating with the edge of the rubber shaper.
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9 Comments

Incoming Moon-Tide

6/1/2020

4 Comments

 
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Incoming Moon-Tide
"Incoming Moon-Tide" - acrylic on wood panel (baltic birch, uncradled), 11" x 18" x .5".  Ready to hang (back has been wired for hanging).  Available here and at Artfinder.

​Freedom has a taste. It’s wild and untamed. The trick is to walk around all day long and roll that taste around in your mouth. When you speak, some of the wild dribbles out, but it’s okay because you’ll make more. At night, when you lay your head on your pillow, you feel the wild sloshing around in your brain and pooling behind your eyelids like an incoming moon-tide so that, when you open them, the wild gushes into the world.  - BRIAN RUTENBERG

Here we are amidst the tumult of quarantine and chaos in a country made raw by recent events.  Even in my sweet Portland, curfews were imposed and peaceful protests turned ugly.  And here at home,  a story of love came to an abrupt and unexpected end.  

It's a lot to process.

And so I head to the studio, where paint provides solace and a means to touch feelings without being overwhelmed.   There is freedom in the paint.


​About the painting:  this is a paint-over.  Underneath is a Diebenkorn-inspired study (now obliterated).  Using one of the color palettes from Pauline Agnew's e-course and resisting (RESIST RESIST!) the urge to add a hundred more colors to the piece; scratching into the paint with a chopstick to create texture in the hair...trying to capture a feeling of determination and strength.
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Here's the blue wild, where
tiny dreamers ride beasts, speak
​ birdsong, hold the moon.

(by poet Mary W. Cox)
​


​Art prints available on request
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