Lola Jovan Art Musings and Random Thoughts

Afraid of Everything But Not Afraid

1/4/2021

"Afraid of Everything But Not Afraid" - acrylic and charcoal on cradled birch panel, 14 x 11 x .75. Ready to hang (sides are painted; no need to frame. Hanging wire is attached). Part of the series "A View From the Gorge." Available here and at Artfinder.

A dozen or more walking soundlessly east at night,
a half moon rising before them.
I like the long deft brush stroke
as each hoof swung into and out of the snow,
and the little splash kicked out ahead
as they stripped sweet bark from the darkness,
afraid of everything but not afraid.
from Winter Morning Walks: One Hundred Postcards to Jim Harrison by Ted Kooser.

Afraid of Everything But Not Afraid

Well here we are in January. I am not a maker of resolutions, but was asked on New Year's Eve what I might choose if I were a resolution-maker. I'd like to not be afraid.

I mean, I am pretty fearless in a LOT of ways! But when it comes to people - friendships, romance, relationships, love - there is a fear monster perched on my head. With good reason, perhaps, and yet...I'd like to free myself of that monster and just live brilliantly fearless. So when I read this passage from Winter Morning Walks, I thought, huh, I can do that! Afraid but not afraid. I'm going to try that on for a bit and see if it fits.

About the art: I'm working with a more neutral palette for the next three pieces. Today's painting was a big OH NO during the videos, as I tried to recreate an image from the gorge. It just wasn't working. So I turned the camera off and fully vandalized it. A more abstract expressionist landscape resulted. When I let water sit on it long enough, I was able to push through to the underpainting (raw umber and titanium white) to expose some highlights in the verticals. Yay!

7 Comments

Carl Stoveland

1/4/2021 09:02:59 am

Another great quote. That book arrived yesterday and I’m doling out the poems like little pieces of candy so as to not read it all at one sitting.
Great resolution / non resolution. I think you’ll crack that and put it to rest.
I could look at the painting all day. I like the winter palette and there are so many great textures to get lost in.

Carl

jen

1/4/2021 12:34:37 pm

Carl! I am so glad you snagged a copy of this literary gem! I dole it out, too. It IS candy! And thank you...the winter palette is not my normal, but I am enjoying how soothing it feels despite all the action in the painting!

1/4/2021 04:34:17 pm

It’s fun to break routine once in a while on our colors. Congrats another great painting.

Dotty Seiter link

1/4/2021 09:23:58 am

Jen, your videos are a tremendous gift for which I offer tremendous thanks. Wow.

Afraid of Everything But Not Afraid holds the magic of abstraction—although it is not representational "photographic" art but instead a collection of lines, drips, colors, shapes, scrapes, dabs, and impulses, my eye sees snippets of the solid physical elements of this spinning globe on which we are afraid of everything but not always afraid, snippets as real and tangible as if I were standing outdoors in their presence.

1/4/2021 12:36:31 pm

Dotty! I am so relieved the videos have some value. It is way outside my comfort zone!! The painting - a place but not a place, solid but untethered. "The magic of abstraction" - I love that! Thank you!

Carol Edan link

1/4/2021 11:01:48 am

You are fearless, at least as far as I can see in your work and other matters. You jump right in and fight! You just helped me with my yearly word! Fearless! I see a complete world, mountains, water, clouds. Perhaps a new beginning! Amen!

1/4/2021 12:37:44 pm

Carol! FEARLESS is a perfect word for 2021! Hooray! And thank you for validating and encouraging my fearlessness...smoke and mirrors, much of it. Or, rather, being terrified and jumping anyway. xo

Afraid of Everything But Not Afraid

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