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"Pearl Was Even More Nervous" - oil on Yupo, 11.5 x 16.5 inches.  (click on the image to purchase)

“So, I’m awkward with actual humans. It’s not paranoia about my hacked governor module, and it’s not them; it’s me. I know I’m a horrifying murderbot, and they know it, and it makes both of us nervous, which makes me even more nervous.” - MURDERBOT, Martha Wells, All Systems Red
It's great to know exactly who you are, warts and all.

But it is a whole other thing to let someone else see you in all your unfiltered glory.  And there are some folks who do that so very well that it looks, well, elegant.  I aspire to such effortless grace. For now, I am an awkward, wart-laden bumbler.
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Pearl Was Even More Nervous

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Just look at this sentence in the quote - ​I know I'm a horrifying murderbot.  What if I created some I know sentences?

I know I am a snotty soggy bog creature filled with tears.

I know I am a hand-wringing worry monster with an overactive 
amygdala.

I know I am myopic and often only see the blurred shapes of things both literal and figurative - blind and bumbling without tools.

It makes me nervous writing these sentences.  But also they are kind of funny, because just as Murderbot isn't really a bad seed, neither am I quite as warty as my inner critic says.    Just when I thought a murderbot had nothing more to teach me.  Hmmmmm.
About the art:  If you ask the AI bot for "orb-headed ballgown-bots" and give it a few other parameters, I swear it jumps up and down and says "ME! ME!" and spits out a host of glorious images. It loves fabric, light and round shapes.  This piece is inspired by one of those images.  To begin, I murdered an old painting with gesso (creating glorious textures) and roughed in the main figure with thinned paint. Working from the outside in to further refine the figure by building layers of thinned paint.  Pearl is the result of 80 million layers (nearly) of paint to provide the many variations of color/texture in her outfit.  For the boots, RESISTING anything but those few highlights.  Hello, Pearl!  My, don't you look lovely?
Thanks to all who participated in this month's reader challenge - Where Do You Hang Your Art?  Seeing the unusual places where art finds its home was quite delightful and eye opening!  Congratulations to reader Thea, whose video made me laugh out loud and garnered her the win!  Thea, send your mailing address to thewanderingoflola@gmail.com to collect your original art prize.  I wonder where you will hang it? :)

Want to win original art for your unusual space?  Stay tuned to your email for next month's challenge! in the weekly blog announcement!
8 Comments
Dotty Seiter gmail - 2 years ago
O
M
G

I KNOW you are ready to be a fashion painter—the fabric is FABULOUS

I KNOW you have mastered the art of resisting ANYTHING but those few highlights on the boots—sheer MAGIC

I KNOW you have foiled the gods of contrast—the subtlety of the legs in shadow is RIVETING

ELEGANT, my dear, your unfiltered glory, ELEGANT
lola - 2 years ago
Dotty!!! I have tears of happiness! Your words are balm to my artist spirit and my inner critic. Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!! xo
Thea - 2 years ago
YAY! Thanks so much in advance, for what will soon be, my treasured painting from The Land of Lola.
Having your art around will inspire me to keep taking chances.
xo Thea
lola - 2 years ago
Thea!!! holy heck, I am still cracking up over your video. It was THE BEST! Thanks hugely for participating - I have new appreciation for all the things art can do in a home. ha ha!
Mary W. Cox - 2 years ago

"I know I am a hand-wringing worry monster with an overactive amygdala." Oh, me, too--at least a couple times a day!

Getting the "I knows..." out there seems rather like making our confession--and hoping to receive some absolution from ourselves, which, come to think of it, is what Confession is about: admitting failures and all the "things done and left undone" and being reassured that through all that we still receive grace. If God gives us grace, maybe we should, too!

I think this is a day when I like the blog post even better than the painting!
lola - 2 years ago
Mary!!! We are kindred worry monsters.

I have read and re-read your comment about "I knows" and confession. Holy macaroons. Yes, yes, YES! Seeking self-absolution and being reassured (whatever our beliefs) that we're not unredeemable. When we speak it, it is put in the light. That's the only way through. xoxoxoxoxo
Carol Edan - 2 years ago
Love your "I know" sentences! Will have a to make some of my own.! Pearl, nothing to be nervous about, your dress perfect, your white fur scarf, and purple veil! You will steal the show.
Sorry on my slow commenting practice lately..
lola - 2 years ago
Carol!!! Hello! Those "I Know" sentences are such a great exercise - I plan to do them more often. And hooray! Pearl thanks you profusely! (And no worries! I am just happy to see your name pop up here. Yay!)

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