Lola Jovan Art Musings and Random Thoughts

The Big Charade With Confidence

5/20/2021

The only way to be truly confident is to simply become comfortable with what you lack.

Read that again.

The big charade with confidence is that it has nothing to do with being comfortable in what we achieve and everything to do with being comfortable in what we don’t achieve.

- Mark Manson in this article.

The universe is having a good old time with me today.

I sat here contemplating what on earth to say - what to post - when I have nothing ready to show you. What to say when I am feeling less than confident about this whole being a human in the world thing.

post-hike cloud magic

sparkles in the world of waterfalls

And then Manson's article falls in my lap.

The cure for missing confidence is becoming comfortable with what I haven't achieved. What I don't have. What I am not. As Manson brilliantly explains, neither external achievement nor internal cheerleading will build lasting confidence. And I'd like to be more consistently confident in all aspects of my humanness - both art and just being.

So here is a post where I say to you "dear reader, I have paintings all over my studio in various states, but nothing to show you today. I am okay with not having achieved this right now. I'm gonna launch some love bombs all over that unfinished business . Because I'm okay with that. "

Now off you go to be okay with everything you don't get done today, confident human! xo

8 Comments

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Lola Jovan

Carl S

5/20/2021 01:30:42 pm

So spot on. I was so hung up on what my sketching lacked. But at some point I said just do it. Own it. Now what I saw as my deficiencies are more like me signature style. Just gotta do it. It’s the only way to gain confidence. Thanks for sharing that nugget of wisdom Jen.

jen

5/20/2021 03:11:18 pm

Carl! That right there is the MAGIC! Your "deficiencies" becoming a signature style! OMG! More magic, please!

Dotty Seiter link

5/20/2021 03:00:43 pm

Thank you for the party invitation, Lola! The party celebrating EVERYTHING, the chance to have FULL TRUST in all that I HAVE accomplished and all that I HAVE NOT accomplished. I'm in!!!

5/20/2021 03:11:59 pm

Dotty! Welcome to the party! I am so glad you're IN! xoxoxo Lola

Thea link

5/20/2021 03:09:41 pm

Wow, yes, wow.
"The only way to be truly confident is to simply become comfortable with what you lack."
What if we apply this to our lack of confidence about aging and our "looks"? As we swim into the second half or last third of life- what if we get more comfortable that we lack youth- we lack collagen compared to some people born after us-so what? We gots lots of other stuff. Like the ability to make art and the courage to put it out in the world, that's pretty swell. :) love your writing.

5/20/2021 03:13:31 pm

Thea! You have hit the nail on the head there, lady! That's EXACTLY the thing. To accept age, looks as they are, even mental acuity just as it is...all of a sudden, there - THERE is the confidence!

Sharon

5/20/2021 04:26:41 pm

Oh, I’ve been in this place of not having something to post more often that I can count. I have had to become comfortable with not saying/sharing anything until I have something to say/share.

5/24/2021 11:09:54 am

Sharon! Thank you for sharing your experience with being comfortable with what we lack....you, sweet one, exude confidence!

The Big Charade With Confidence

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