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The Hope of Myself

10/29/2020

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The Hope of Myself
​"The Hope of Myself" - acrylic on gallery-wrapped canvas, 20 x 16 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”
from "When I am Amongst the Trees" by Mary Oliver
Oooooh there is nothing quite like a good romp up a mountain and over hill and dale to recharge the muse and fill the studio with bubbling good mojo again!  I think the prescription here is: hike, paint, repeat.  Again!  Again!

The ability to "never hurry through the world" is elusive to me sometimes.  It seems I am wired for productivity and movement.  But moving through the trees for many hours takes that monkey mind and brings it to a quiet resting place.  The need to hurry disappears.

Oliver's words resonate comfortingly during troubled times and excessive news consumption - let's be easy, be filled with light and shine.

About the art:  this piece is painted over another portrait, and was a week-long wrestling match.  At least a dozen times I had my hand on the gesso bucket, ready to erase her from the earth and start again.  Once I got out of my head and let the paint have its way, this contemplative woman emerged and decided to stay.  A lesson in letting go, embracing the flow and sometimes walking away for a day or two.
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Flock Together (a sweet repeat)

10/26/2020

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"Flock Together" - acrylic on paper, 20" x 28" (framed dimension).  Double matted in off-white and professionally framed in modern profile black; behind plexiglass.  Ready to hang.  Available here.


Birds of a feather flock together

..until the cat comes.


A sweet repeat today while several pieces in process in the studio decide what they want to become.  The muse has left the building.  This is something that happens on occasion, and is a good time to tidy, restock, gesso boards, take inventory and watch clouds meander across the sky.
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Flock Together
This piece, which toured in a show with the Florida Watercolor Society and then reigned supreme at a local venue here in Portland, is back home in the roost.  And it now seems perfect for the times.
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We flock together in tiny, curated flocks of safe bubbles of family, and flock together in large, boisterous on-line flocks of like-minded spirits and humans striving to find meaning and connection in a wild, wild world.  And yet, the "cat", be it pandemic, politics or persnicketiness, can also separate our flocks (small and large) and cause division.  Now I have nothing at all against cats (I happen to adore them).  But in this example, making sure the "cat" stays out of the roost is probably a good idea. 

In this painting, woman and feathered beast have found a common ground.  One supports, another trusts, eyes meet.  Maybe they have found a higher ground?  Maybe our county can, too.

​ I think Stevie says it best...
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A month in Pictures

10/22/2020

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While the artist recovers from a marathon of expressive portraits (and plays hooky in the forest for a day or two), please enjoy a visual recap of last month's artistic journey.  

And while you are gazing, consider this:

​Where the scientist asks what equation would best describe the trajectory of an airborne rock, the artist asks what it would feel like to throw one."  - David Bayles and Ted Orland, Art and Fear
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Courage

10/19/2020

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"Courage" (inspired by the art of Lita Cabellut) - acrylic on gallery-wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted, no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached)  Available here.

​The French philosopher Camus used to tell himself quietly to live to the point of tears, not as a call for maudlin sentimentality, but as an invitation to the deep privilege of belonging and the way belonging affects us, shapes us and breaks our hearts at a fundamental level.  It is a fundamental dynamic of human incarnation to be moved by what we feel, as if surprised by the actuality and privilege of love and affection and its possible loss.  Courage is what love looks like when tested by the simple everyday necessities of being alive.
 - David Whyte, Consolations


​Pauline Agnew's  Expressive Portraits course has come to an end, but not before she introduced us to a bevy of contemporary artists who are knocking my socks off.  For our last project, we learned to paint in the style of Lita Cabellut , whose work (along with Adrian Ghenie) is likely to influence me for some time to come.  What blows me away about Cabellut is her fearless treatment of the subject, mixed with bold texture and sometimes edgy or emotionally provocative poses. Her series on Frida Kahlo pushes my emotions to that edge.
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Courage (inspired by the art of Lita Cabellut)
Cabellut's artistic courage double-dog-dares me to be bolder in my pursuit of capturing emotion, while Whyte's words triple-dare-me to be courageous in love.  And it's only Monday. :)

A pictorial history of the piece - acrylic on canvas gesso'd in black.  Liberal use of water sprayer and squeegee.
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Butterfly

10/15/2020

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"Butterfly" - acrylic on gallery wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides have been painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached)  Available here and at Artfinder.

I've got nothing but a butterfly,
I like to be inside your heart beat you,
I want nothing but just butterfly,
In my stomach everytime I see you,
I'm doing nothing but butterflying.
- The Chase, "Butterfly in my Stomach"


​Sometimes the universe surprises us - gives us little moments to tuck into our joy pockets and remind us why life is a delicious treat.  I realize these are more difficult to come by during a global pandemic, but those moments are still there to be savored.  

A recent  mushroom hunt yields  a bag filled with oyster mushrooms, along with the visual memory of my sisters climbing trees in the rain to reach the very best specimens.  Joy.!

A rescued kitty added to my sister's family looks like a frothed oat milk latte and her personality is just as fluffy and sweet.  Joy!
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Butterfly

My son begins recording an EP with a producer in Seattle, and he lets me put on studio headphones and listen - whoa! A rare and unexpected treat.   Joy!

Our neighborhood restaurants begin erecting tents and filling them with tables and heaters in order to stay in business safely as the rainy season approaches. The neighbors pledge their patronage and (safe) support.  Joy!

A phone call that gives voice to the photo and texts of a sweet human dazzles my ears.  Grateful. Butterflies.  Joy.

About the art: Begin with a notanized selfie and restrict the paints to three colors (and a tiny accent color) and white.   Slowly develop the layers, paint in the negative space, drag the paint with a rubber wedge.  Resist the urge to smooth, to overly define or to fill in all the shapes.  Paint from the shadows instead of from the features.  And enjoy the feeling of butterflies. :)
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Sara

10/12/2020

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"Sara" - acrylic on gallery-wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder.

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough
Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh, I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road
- from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John


​Last week in the Expressive Portraits course we worked from vintage photographs - victorian women, coal miners, stoic, gritty faces which told countless stories.  In order to get my muse in a nostalgic mode, I queued up a playlist of songs from my youth - the kind that take me back and have me wondering how, a few notes into a song from the past, I can find tears in my eyes and feel transported into feelings of my much younger self.

And that is a nice place to visit - but I don't want to linger there.  Just mine it for gold.  Or yellow bricks.
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Sara

How can we take the fodder of our yesterday and turn it into rich, loamy soul for our older, wiser souls?   How do we hang onto the exquisite moments of long ago and yet allow room for growth, expansion and unfettered exploration?  This song, a remake of a classic, is a perfect demonstration of just that.  

We can hold on loosely, allow the song, the lyric, the memory to breathe - expand, contract, expand again - until it becomes something new, grown from the soil of sweetness and nostalgia. And so I am opening my hands, relaxing my fingers, allowing...

About the art:  beginning with a drawing in stabilo pencil and charcoal, jumping off to a canvas and allowing the paint to create happy accidents and textures, and also allowing the woman in the painting to define herself.  In the drawing, an electric eraser was used to create vertical texture.  In the painting, the same effect using a catalyst wedge through wet paint.  Titled after singer Sara Bareilles, I think this one took something old and made it new, too.
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Is Lion, Is Fed

10/8/2020

6 Comments

 
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Is Lion, Is Fed
"Is Lion, Is Fed" - acrylic on gallery-wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need for framing.  Hanging wire is attached)  Available here and at Artfinder.


As the drought-starved
eland forgives
the drought-starved lion
who finally takes her,
enters willingly then
the life she cannot refuse,
and is lion, is fed,
and does not remember the other.

​from "The Weighing" by  Jane Hirschfield



Thank you in advance, dear reader, for continuing to go into these darker corners with me this  month, as I explore the more intense side of portraiture.  

As with Monday's portrait, this one told me exactly who he was.  Hirschfield's  poem came immediately to mind.  The phrase is lion, is fed​ resonates with my in multiple ways.
Outside the context of the poem, the phrase is a reassuring mantra of strength and abundance to this leo woman, who sometimes needs reminders of her own ability to independently survive (and even thrive)  during turbulent times.  

When I put is lion, is fed back into the context of the poem, it reminds me of the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh, who teaches us we are not separate from any other thing in the world.  We are the lion, we are the eland, we are each other.   It was announced earlier this week that Nhat Hanh, nearly 94 years old, has stopped eating and is preparing to depart.  He, like the eland, becomes part of something else, and yet he, like us, was always a part of everything.  Even you.  Even me.  There is comfort there.

About the painting:  Beginning with an inspiration image (a woman, this time, used for posture and shapes, but not the face) and another Adrian Ghenie palette photo, then building layers and blending, moving, invoking happy accidents with rubber wedge, squeegee, paper towels and hands.
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Adrian Ghenie palette
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inspiration pose photo
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roughing in the form
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finding the face
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building layers to later destroy
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Break the Bridle

10/5/2020

4 Comments

 
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Break the Bridle

"Break the Bridle" - acrylic on gallery wrapped canvas, 16" x 20" x 1.5".  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder

Easy, easy
You break the bridle to make
Losing control
Easy, easy
Crushed what you're holding
So you can say letting go is
Easy, easy
from "Easy" by Son Lux


​We had a glowing orange full moon this weekend as smoke from the California wildfires returned to Portland.  Heavy, foggy, smoke-choked skies mingled with October in the moon-haze to make moody, dystopian vistas.  So it came as no surprise when this intense portrait appeared on my easel.

I'm working on going into the dark places.  October is perfect for pursuit of the peculiar, the creepy, the uncomfortable.  All in hopes of finding hidden truths and creating a reservoir of bravery.  The continued combination of the painting course and reading David Stoner's stories is inspiring in ways I had not previously considered possible.

When contemplating this painting and what he means, I heard immediately in my head this song by Son Lux, introduced to me by my son during his time with Gestalt a cappella.  I think it speaks for the art, and maybe the art speaks back to the song.

About the art:  Beginning with a model image from Unsplash and an inspirational art piece from Adrian Ghenie, then using the abstraction wisdom of Pauline Agnew to create a rather sinister and emotionally impactful portrait.  Can I say this is my favorite painting I've created?  Yes, for now.  Muwahaha.  Welcome, October!
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Intensely in the Moment

10/1/2020

8 Comments

 
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Intensely In the Moment
"Intensely in the Moment" - acrylic on gallery wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame - hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder.


While we must hold onto our memories because they serve as guide maps to our futures, a truly meaningful life is lived intensely in the moment.
-David Stoner, The Dream


It is one of those weeks where I feel porous.  

Like all the things outside are felt deeply on the inside.  

Could it be the full moon?  Fall? The swirling, whirling world of all the things going on out there?  It seems synchronistic timing to discover this book of stories by David Stoner.  Each one leaves me deeply moved, reaching for the box of tissues and also grateful for the beauty of words expertly wielded and stories of vulnerability and pain gently told.
And, of course, it was week two of the Expressive Portraits course with Pauline Agnew, so feelings and paint became fodder for faces.  In this particular piece, don't adjust your glasses or your computer settings - it is intentionally blurred.  The requisite 80 million layers of paint, with several of the wet layers pulled left to right, up and down with a squeegee and a rubber wedge to draaaaaaaaaag the image into a slightly blurred perspective.   Which has kind of been my perspective all week!  So life imitating art imitating life.  Whoa!

Another exciting auction weekend coming up with Artistic Souls Gallery!  October 4-5.  Here's a sneak peek at some of my offerings. 
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The Voice That Speaks Inside
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Notorious
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Anything Can Be
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I'd Rather Play
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Here's the blue wild, where
tiny dreamers ride beasts, speak
​ birdsong, hold the moon.

(by poet Mary W. Cox)
​


​Art prints available on request
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