- Published on
Stop Badgering Me
"Stop Badgering Me" - oil on wood panel, 24 x 18 x .75 Ready to hang.
"Fear, Illuminated " - oil on Yupo, 18 x 12.5
"Making Friends With The Enemy Has Unexpected Perks" - pen and ink on Yupo, 8.5 x 8.5
(click on the images to purchase)
"Stop Badgering Me" - oil on wood panel, 24 x 18 x .75 Ready to hang.
"Fear, Illuminated " - oil on Yupo, 18 x 12.5
"Making Friends With The Enemy Has Unexpected Perks" - pen and ink on Yupo, 8.5 x 8.5
(click on the images to purchase)
In the midst of a breakdown, we often wonder whether we have gone mad. We have not. We’re behaving oddly, no doubt, but beneath the agitation we are on a hidden yet logical search for health. We haven’t become ill; we were ill already. Our crisis, if we can get through it, is an attempt to dislodge us from a toxic status quo and constitutes an insistent call to rebuild our lives on a more authentic and sincere basis. It belongs, in the most acute and panicked way, to the search for self-knowledge. - Alain de Botton The School of Life: An Emotional Education
If you've never had a panic attack, this post might feel a bit foreign to you. If you have experienced a panic attack (or more than one, or many), then you've got an intimate relationship with what we call the "Honey Badger."
Panic, or fear of fear, originates in the amygdala, the primitive brain over which we have no control. It's great when you're in danger, but maddening when you're not in danger, but it decides you are, and also that you have no say in the matter.
Fear, Illuminated
It can begin with a fear of public speaking, or heights, or social situations or something seemingly silly and benign. It may be based on a frightening or painful past experience, or it may not. The why does not matter to the Honey Badger. You can waste a lot of time asking why.
The real question is: what? What is your body experiencing, what was the situation before hand, what can you do to feel better?
Making Friends With The Enemy Has Unexpected Perks
There is no easy remedy for panic.
Curiosity helps. And patience. And a willingness to look the Honey Badger in the eye. Because the more you despise the old HB, the bigger he grows. You gotta make friends with the badger if you want to survive. Because, believe it or not, HB wants to push you to the other side of something.. And the only way through is through. Not over, not under, not around. Through the gaping maw of the badger and chomp chomp chomp. Down through the stomach and out the other end. Messy, smelly, and so damned uncomfortable.
Thank goodness there is art.
Curiosity helps. And patience. And a willingness to look the Honey Badger in the eye. Because the more you despise the old HB, the bigger he grows. You gotta make friends with the badger if you want to survive. Because, believe it or not, HB wants to push you to the other side of something.. And the only way through is through. Not over, not under, not around. Through the gaping maw of the badger and chomp chomp chomp. Down through the stomach and out the other end. Messy, smelly, and so damned uncomfortable.
Thank goodness there is art.
About the art: sometimes it is easier to approach a challenging topic visually. In this series, panic (as the Honey Badger) is depicted as initially an overwhelming experience (this HB is TOO BIG!), then as something perhaps more manageable but still alarming (especially when it is brought out of the dark corner and illuminated), and finally as an ally - the thing within you that leads to examining, accepting, rebuilding the framework into something adventurous and strengthening.
Have you had experiences with panic? I'd love to know. Leave a comment below!
Have you had experiences with panic? I'd love to know. Leave a comment below!
Congratulations, Candis and Thea! Wonder Mike chose your names at random as winners of the March Reader Giveaway! Email your mailing address to thewanderingsofllola@gmail.com and your free art will be on its way to you. Thank you for sharing your super powers with us. xo
Panic. Hmm. The amygdala has its uses in real life or death situations, but it does throw monkey wrenches at us from time to time. I like the honey badger analogy a lot. I have found that my triggers are around embarrassment or humiliation. I have a deadly fear of looking stupid that can pop up at the worst time. If I can breathe and ask myself what am I really afraid of. It’s always my ego. Once I realize that I laugh at myself for doing the same thing again and the honey badger is reduced to a kitten. The key for me is the moment of clarity where I can ask myself what am I really afraid of. That can be tricky when the badger is zooming around the room gnawing on the furniture. I realize my panic is probably low grade and the simplest form. It can be crippling and I’m not making light of anybody else’s honey badger. In fact mine is probably more of a hungry squirrel.
And Wonder. Mike says CONGRATULATIONS! He's picked out something special to send you! xo
I am mesmerized by your rendering of Making Friends With The Enemy Has Unexpected Perks; making friends with the enemy packs a heartfelt wholehearted punch of the best kind.
xo