I Am Not Myself, You See

I Am Not Myself You See

"I Am Not Myself, You See" - oil on cradled wood panel, 20 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang.  Available here and at Artfinder.


“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”

“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar, sternly. “Explain yourself!”

“I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir,” said Alice, “because I am not myself, you see.” - from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

The Alices are restless.

They want to be released into the world, so here we are, tumbling down the rabbit hole into a story of multitudinous meanings and a heaping helping of malarkey.  The combination is quite irresistible.

The Caterpillar and Alice have captured the essence of transformation in this conversation - we are not the same at the end of the day as we were at the beginning.  Nor the week, the month, the year, the lifetime.  And good thing, too.  We can grow, change, adapt, morph and meander into the beings we are at this moment, even as we are moving into the next iteration of ourselves.  I am not myself says Alice.  Herself (and myself) is not a constant.  It is (we are)  ever flowing, ever changing.  

​Let's go back in time - take a look at the first ever Alice movie (right).  

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About the art:  the AI bot and I are having a long wrestling match about Alice.  The bot wants to make her a syrupy Disney character, while the artist wants something more peculiar and a bit creepy, perhaps?  After a hundred Alices and as many prompts, some delicious inspiration has emerged.

​In this one, I began on a gesso'd wood surface with a liquin-thinned background of oil paint and created a basic floor and textured backdrop.  Alice was next, layers upon layers as her pale intensity grew and grew.  Her shady sidekicks were last, along with her ever-growing hair, which is an amalgamation of small brushstrokes, chopstick drawing, rubber wedge pulling and fingertip smudging.  

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Congratulations to Dotty, Robyn and Niki!  Your comments about transformation landed you in the winner's circle, where Wonder Mike and Lilly insisted you all win an original piece of art.  Hooray!  Send you mailing address to the shipping hounds at thewanderingsofllola@gmail.com and your treasures will be on the way.  Thank you so much for your participation!

There is a new Reader Giveaway each month this year...stay tuned for June's giveaway - coming soon!