Internal Dialogue

"Internal Dialogue" - acrylic on gallery wrapped canvas, 16 x 20 x 1.5.  Ready to hang.  Available here and at Artfinder.

Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.
― David Richo

I've been struggling a bit with old wounds.

Not the fact that I have them - we all do; it's part of life.  They can and do still rear up like angry stallions now and again, take my breath away, punch me in the gut and leave me feeling quite vulnerable.  The struggle is with my internal dialogue in those moments and afterward.  The inner critic isn't a very kind person, and berates me for for having wounds.  Silly, isn't she?

There is a silver lining in most everything, I think.  Including those moments of facing angry stallions and corralling them into something you can approach and embrace.

Internal Dialogue

I am still searching for the "best and most beautiful part" in those wounds.  

It's easy for me to see beauty in the scars of others - the strength, tenderness, tenacity, surrender - all the incredible qualities emerging from their past experiences.  I'd like to transform mine into something of beauty in my own eyes, too.  There is freedom in that transformation.  I can almost taste it.

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About the art: beginning with an inspiration photo which has been notanized, creating a value study of darks and lights with watered down acrylic paint and chunky soft pencils.  Slowly adding the layers required to create depth and texture. Liberal use of water bottle, rubber wedge and paper towel.  

This piece was a wrestling match - almost as if the inner critic was fighting with me in the paint.  Eventually this woman emerged, victorious but perhaps needing a hot bath and a respite from struggle.  Art imitates life.