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Living at the Edge of Your Eyeballs

6/28/2017

4 Comments

 
Picture
"Summer Storm" - water-based ink on aquabord, 6" x 6".  Ready to frame.  Available on Artfinder.

I fell off the earth for two weeks.  Tumbling and falling, feet seeking ground.  With all that acceleration and gravity, I anticipated a hard impact - my support structure all busted and fractured.  Instead, there was a soft thud, a couple of stumble steps and a sigh.  

I've been "living at the edge of my eyeballs" (a phrase spoken by one of my wise sisters).  Completely present, thoughts left in a silent place, experiencing every moment without distraction.  Conversations sans electronics, schedules changing day to day, collaborating on the largest project I've ever been part of - the disassembling of parental lives and assets.  After two weeks of task lists, learning curves, triumphs and tears, this collaborative team is seasoned.  We are glued together in ways that make us each individually stronger.  We have become formidable.

The soft landing at the end of my free falling is an unanticipated benefit of our collaboration.  Instead of feeling like the rug was pulled out from under me, I feel firmly planted and supported.  Sisters and husband and brother-in-law, son and daughter and niece and friends.  Each stepped in to fill the empty shoes of a paterfamilias, and now those large shoes are fully occupied and solid.  In death there is rebirth.  And our family is made new again.

The piece above was created shortly before my free fall  was inspired by the incredible photography of Steve L. Romero, a local photographer and capturer of beautiful moments.  Check out Steve's work here.
4 Comments
Dotty Seiter link
6/28/2017 12:46:56 pm

WOW to Summer Storm, Jen. Though painted before your free fall, the power, energy, and soft landing of the past two weeks are all contained there.

As I read your evocatively eloquent post, the following words from Wendell Berry, in his novel Jayber Crow, came to mind:

That grief should come and bring joy with it was not something I felt able, or even called upon, to sort out or understand. I accepted the grief. I accepted the joy. I accepted that they came to me out of the same world.

Reply
jen
6/28/2017 02:48:10 pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Those words capture it PERFECTLY! There is sadness, there is joy! And from the same experience. A huge silver lining and a big parachute. Life is good, even when there is a death.

I cannot express how much the words and thoughts you've shared over the last two weeks have comforted both me and my sisters. :)

Reply
Carol Edan link
7/1/2017 11:46:24 am

Your words touched me more than I can say, have helped me dealing with my own feelings. They and the painting, with the lights coming through reminded me of Leonard Cohen's Anthem..
."There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
That's how the light gets in
That's how the light gets in.
Actually the whole song has deep meanings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCS_MwkWzes

Reply
jen
7/1/2017 01:56:54 pm

Carol! Thank you for sharing this...it moved me. The crack in everything. Light getting in. Yes. Right now I am feeling the crack between worlds, feeling spirits move between them, knowing there is joy in both places. Thank you, sweet one!

Reply



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