The best chance to be whole

”The Best Chance to be Whole” - oil on paper, 22 x 30.  Available here and at Artfinder.

The courage to hear and embody opens us to a startling secret, that the best chance to be whole is to love whatever gets in the way, until it ceases to be an obstacle .  - MARK NEPO 

Oh, how things get in the way.

I mean, can I even imagine feeling "whole"?  Personally? Creatively? Interpersonally? In life?  Yes, I can nearly see it there, just beyond reach - like a word on the tip of. my tongue.  Elusive, but there.

The definition of and obstacles in the way of wholeness vary by person, I'm guessing.  There are real world obstacles which we all face in various combinations, but inner hurdles and obstacles - I'm guessing those are what Nepo is getting at.  Our own assumptions, beliefs, judgments, attitudes and flotsam.  Oy.

The Best Chance to be Whole

​There are so many obstacles on the creative path.  Time, for sure.  Education, experience, instruction, materials - yup.  But mostly, mainly, what I hear from other artists and musicians and writers and performers of all. kinds is that the big, bad obstacle is nearly always inside our heads.  Mine sounds like "I CAN'T".  (My inner obstacle is not verbose, just stern.).  It's different from my interpersonal obstacle voice, which sounds like "I'M AFRAID TO."

So I'm not sure exactly how to spread big love to these obstacles, but I think it begins with the sound of Thich Nhat Hanh's voice saying "I see you little one.  I see your fear.  I see your lack of confidence.  Come here and let's work through it together."  And so, as I hold hands with my inner obstacles and skip off into the studio, I ask you, dear readers, what the obstacles to your wholeness  and how can you love them?

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About the art:  beginning with a thickly gesso'd layer over an old painting on 300 lb arches watercolor paper.  Laying in wet horizontal lines of oil paint with a rubber wedge and dragging  downward and at angles, creating a rough structure of "cliff and rock"  inspired by hiking photographs.  Varying many neutrals, creating mud and then bringing it back to color with some brighter paint and a palette knife.  Carving back into the layers with chopsticks and flat blades.  Allowing  paint thinner to run along some portions to create texture.  The requisite 80 million layers exist in this large piece, which is, by far, my new favorite.