The Glass of My Past

"The Glass of My Past" - acrylic on cradled wood panel, 16 x 20 x .75.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder.

I don’t want to be one of those people, cutting everyone else on the glass of my past. I don’t want to give love in half-measures because I gave so much to those who didn’t deserve it that I have little left for those who do. I don’t want to swallow my voice to avoid speaking my truth. - CRYSTAL JACKSON, "To All the Men Who Never Loved Me"

I'm spending a month with my favorite Irish artist, Pauline Agnew.  This time it is her Expressive Portraits e-course, and she had us hit the ground running from day one.  For this painting, I focused on the shapes and suggestions of features and form, using negative space painting to further define the shapes and then RESISTING the urge to come in with a small brush and make everything super realistic.  (There seems to be a common theme in my art journey - RESIST!  Put down the brush! Why is that so dang hard?)
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The Glass of My Past

And now to the quote, which leapt out at me from an online essay.  I've been spending some time contemplating past wounds and how they can create a space of fear, hesitation and guardedness.  On the one hand, this is an instinctive protective measure when we've been hurt (for example, stoves are hot!  Don't touch, silly!)   But when the heart has been hurt (my heart, in this case), that same instinct can find us hiding in a space of isolation and withdrawal rather than a wild, brave existence in a swashbuckling world of trust in our own resilience and in the basic goodness of the universe.  The quote put a spotlight for me on something else that I hadn't considered - the "glass of our past" can also hurt others, taking that pain and bringing it forward and casting it out into the world again.  Whoa, Nellie!   Something to noodle on as I polish my scabbard and prepare for a renewed effort at swashbuckling. :)