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The Glass of My Past

9/28/2020

8 Comments

 
"The Glass of My Past" - acrylic on cradled wood panel, 16 x 20 x .75.  Ready to hang (Sides are painted; no need to frame.  Hanging wire is attached).  Available here and at Artfinder.

I don’t want to be one of those people, cutting everyone else on the glass of my past. I don’t want to give love in half-measures because I gave so much to those who didn’t deserve it that I have little left for those who do. I don’t want to swallow my voice to avoid speaking my truth. - CRYSTAL JACKSON, "To All the Men Who Never Loved Me"

I'm spending a month with my favorite Irish artist, Pauline Agnew.  This time it is her Expressive Portraits e-course, and she had us hit the ground running from day one.  For this painting, I focused on the shapes and suggestions of features and form, using negative space painting to further define the shapes and then RESISTING the urge to come in with a small brush and make everything super realistic.  (There seems to be a common theme in my art journey - RESIST!  Put down the brush! Why is that so dang hard?)
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The Glass of My Past
And now to the quote, which leapt out at me from an online essay.  I've been spending some time contemplating past wounds and how they can create a space of fear, hesitation and guardedness.  On the one hand, this is an instinctive protective measure when we've been hurt (for example, stoves are hot!  Don't touch, silly!)   But when the heart has been hurt (my heart, in this case), that same instinct can find us hiding in a space of isolation and withdrawal rather than a wild, brave existence in a swashbuckling world of trust in our own resilience and in the basic goodness of the universe.  The quote put a spotlight for me on something else that I hadn't considered - the "glass of our past" can also hurt others, taking that pain and bringing it forward and casting it out into the world again.  Whoa, Nellie!   Something to noodle on as I polish my scabbard and prepare for a renewed effort at swashbuckling. :)
8 Comments
Carol Edan link
9/28/2020 10:39:43 am

Pauline is putting you through your paces! There is always one spot to finish... then another. Sometimes we just have to call it a day.... may be finished or not... not the issue! You have a very determined lady there!

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jen
9/28/2020 03:40:09 pm

Carol! She does put us through our paces...but I am grateful for it. More! More! A good exercise in walking away every day. And yes - this one feels determined!

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Dotty Seiter link
9/28/2020 11:19:50 am

Whoa, Nellie!, indeed. The glass of my/our past: whoa. whoa. whoa.

Jen, the space between collar and neck, between neck and collar. Riveting.

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jen
9/28/2020 03:41:12 pm

Dotty! Thank you, lady. Sometimes the shadow spaces are everything.

That phrase - the glass of my/our past - stops me in my tracks.

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Stan Kurth link
9/28/2020 12:06:15 pm

Great color and the splash of gray at the top, perfect. And by the way, hugs.

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jen
9/28/2020 03:41:57 pm

STAN!!!!!! OMG! Thank you, wizard of abstraction! Your comments mean so much to me! And hugs back to you. :)

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Mary W. Cox
9/28/2020 04:36:32 pm

My daughter gave me a new term this morning--Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. She said that coming across this was an "aha" for her, because she drives herself nuts with an absurd need never to make a mistake--due to a couple of abusive personal relationships, and one boss who was Cruella DeVille incarnate. Little by little we move beyond all those sharp edges. I love this absolutely *flinty* face--and the fierce tower of hair!

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jen
9/28/2020 04:46:46 pm

Mary! Your daughter sounds like a very wise woman. The glass of her past has a label she can connect with! "Little by little we move beyond all those sharp edges" - true words, lady. Working on softening all my edges until I am a silky, polished stone. And thank you! This piece makes me smile. :)

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