The Stories I Tell Myself

"The Stories I Tell Myself" - mixed media on wood panel (plywood, uncradled) 12" x x10"  Available here and at Artfinder.

​I couldn't resist sneaking a figure into the seascapes month.  But you knew this would happen, right?

The stories we tell ourselves are not only about the people we love and the relationships we have with them. We also tell ourselves stories that form a narrative of our lives — and the narrative is everything. - RENATA GOMEZ

An article on Medium reminded me this week of Brené Brown's story of, well, the stories we tell ourselves.  

We have some powerful narratives going on in our noggins.  Stories about the person sitting across from us.  Stories about that thing in the past when the bottom dropped out of life for a time.  Stories about people we see but don't know.  Stories about people we do know but into whose heads we cannot see (ie: everyone).  But I think the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are perhaps the most powerful of all.  And they aren't always pleasant.

The Stories I Tell Myself

I mean, really, how many of you have a narrator somewhere in there who whispers little untruths?  Like "you are not worthy of (insert your word here)" or, for artists "you are an imposter."  Some days I have to stop and ask myself "hey, who is telling this story, anyway?"  And then I decide  I want a new narrator.  Which I can have.  I wonder if Morgan Freeman is available?

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About the painting:  beginning with a thick layer of toned gesso over an old painting on plywood, I roughed in the form with paint pens and and a light coat of white gesso to identify the light spots.  Added colors in the standard 80 million layers (carefully selected at random, based entirely on my mood!) and then slowly reined in the color mayhem to create shadows and light.  The entire underpainting is acrylic, watercolor mixed with gesso and a bit of Art Graf.  A final layer of oil paint to add vibrancy in a few key spots.

Tools used include brush, rubber wedge, squeegee, paper towel, chopstick and hands.