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"Eye of the Blackbird" - mixed media on paper, 22" x 30".  Ready to frame.  Available on Artfinder.

Among twenty snowy mountains,   
The only moving thing   

Was the eye of the blackbird
   from "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" by Wallace Stevens.


Palliative care...hospice.  Three little words.  Just three words in an entire language of words.  Yet hearing them from a doctor causes a warp in the space-time continuum where the whole world seems to stop inside your head for a moment, like a movie reel slowed down, garbling all the words that come after.   Then the reel speeds up to double time, you're trying to catch up and keep up all at once, while somewhere in the back of your head a voice is saying "hey, THAT just happened."

Our family is still processing, each in their own way.  Dad is most incredible, leading the charge like a general in battle and beginning lists, setting meetings and surging forward with surety.  The paterfamilias in action, even when the outcome of the battle is a foregone conclusion.   We draw strength from him, even as he prepares for his grand exit.

Modern medicine allows us this...something generations past did not have.  A forewarning, an estimate of time, a chance to tie up loose ends.  It gets me thinking.  What would I do?  What would I say?  How present would I be for each conversation knowing it may be the last one?  How lovely, even in the midst of all the misery that surrounds this process, to have the time and the knowledge to make choices, to choose words and parcel them out, to say the things we need to say.

In truth, no one knows the exact timing of these things.  Every day is a precious gift, and any one of us could be gone in a moment given the right (or wrong) series of unfortunate events.  But on this day, I am extremely grateful to compassionate doctors who took the time to use their words and let us know their read on the situation, who gave us time​ to weigh our own words with love and tenderness.

​And as with all things, for me they are best processed in the studio, letting the paint guide my thoughts.
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​The blackbird piece above began as these scribbles...loosely inspired by a Dali piece with amorphous floating blobs.   Twenty layers later, the bird appeared.  And then a link to the poem, referencing the twenty snowy mountains.  I like to think the universe had a hand in creating this one. Crow is a messenger of foretelling.  It is perfect for this day.
12 Comments
Susan - 9 years ago
Those three words take the air out of the room. Just lost a dear, sweet friend to a returning cancer. Our time was precious.
jen - 9 years ago
oh Susan! I am so sorry....the time is precious. At least we have a little notice, a brief bit to be fully present and enjoy each other.
Shelley Lundy - 9 years ago
Oh, Jen....I am so very sorry. We went through it with my father-in-law and your blog gave me goose-bumps. As horrible as this all is, it is a blessing that you have the mindset to be fully present and breathe in each moment that you spend with your Dad. Your piece is truly beautiful and may be one that you will find you can't part with....
jen - 9 years ago
Thanks so much, sweet lady. I am so lucky to have two extraordinary sisters to go through this with. We help keep each other from falling apart and share the task list, the joy and the sorrow. One moment at a time, right?
Dotty Seiter - 9 years ago
"The day was just another day and then something stopped. Something else began." —from THE TINY ONE, by Eliza Minot

Jen, thank you for the considerable gifts of your candor and vulnerability. In the absence of a real-time hug: a virtual hug.

Not done yet. Still hugging.
jen - 9 years ago
I can feel that hug, Dotty! Thank you...I may need more in the coming days. But for today, the hug, the quote - perfect. :)
Carol Edan - 9 years ago
Your words really touched me as I am still in the process of the loss of my sister which was so sudden. You are blessed with these special moments. Thanks so much for the the preliminary studies. Love crows and ravens. Hoping something will come from my scribbles today!
jen - 9 years ago
Hi Carol - grief is a process we share, and yet it feels so lonely, right? I cannot imagine a sudden loss and the missing of this time to prepare, speak and hug. You are brave and strong. :)

Thank you for the feedback - I wasn't sure if process pics were something folks would enjoy or not, so your comments are extremely helpful. And YES, your scribbles will evolve into something magical!!!
Lynda - 9 years ago
Hi Jen, I am sorry for what will be coming soon. I know how hard it is to watch a parent fail in health and pass. My prayers are with you and your family. I'm sure you all will savor each moment with him as we did and we even found laughter in the most unexpected times which lighten all of our heavy hearts. I hope you all can find that too.
jen - 9 years ago
Thanks ever so much, Lynda. We are, indeed, finding joy in unexpected places through this process. I am so grateful for all the love and support and prayers.
RitaAnn - 9 years ago
Jen, love and miss you so much. Your words are so profound and yes, it is a gift when we know a loved one is going to leave us and the opportunity presents itself to say what we want to them and gives us closure. It also is a reminder to not leave words unspoken as we never know when it could be a last conversation with a loved one. xoxoxoxo
jen - 9 years ago
Thank you, sweet friend. Love and miss you, too! In the end, it just wasn't enough time. But is it ever?

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